3 Post-Valentine's Day Resolutions

3 Post-Valentine's Day Resolutions

Date: Wednesday, February 15, 2006By: Match.com

So Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and it wasn’t exactly what you had hoped for. Maybe you went out on a date with someone boring just to be on a date. Perhaps you commiserated with other single friends over one too many cocktails. Or maybe you stayed home and watched really bad horror flicks with a pint of rocky road. In any case, what should have been your most romantic day of the year didn’t include roses, dinner or future possibilities.

Take heart! Better times are around the corner.

To ensure you have a better chance of making next year’s Valentine’s Day a winner, make some resolutions. No, not those unattainable ones you make at the beginning of every year like, "I will lose 75 pounds in one week" or "I will wipe out all my credit card debt." Make resolutions that are easy to keep and have lasting value.

Here are three resolutions to help you develop a more active dating life.

I will make better choices. Just a guess, but the married convict with intimacy issues probably isn't your best prospect. If you always date a workaholic and break up because you never spend time together, isn't it time to self-evaluate? Take a look at your dating history and see if there is a pattern; learn from past mistakes. Who we're attracted to and what’s good for us are often very different.

I will network more. Some people think networking is a dirty word, especially when it involves letting people know you are on the market. There’s nothing wrong with telling co-workers, friends and family that you're single. People aren’t mind readers; if you don’t tell them what your situation is, they won’t know. And think about it: everyone loves to help out their friends in the romance department.

I will take more chances. You'll have to do more than wish for an active dating life before it will actually happen. Going to the same happy hour every Friday night and meeting the same people every week will probably not fill up your social calendar. Do things you’ve never done before: join a club, take a class or search for local singles online. The more you put yourself in new environments, the better your chances are of meeting someone new. Keep your eyes open to all possibilities; inevitably you'll find your special someone where you least expect.
Resolve to be prepared for next year's Valentine's Day. What the heck? With a little help from Match.com, you could find a date in time for spring!

Five Creative Ways to Put a Spin on Tradition

by Maryann Reid

Being creative is better than being like everyone elseYou don't need to walk in on an elephant to have a unique wedding that defies tradition. Less is more. As I was planning Marry Your Baby Daddy Day last year, many of my couples had questions about how they can make it "their" wedding when they were sharing it with 9 other couples. Below are a few suggestions to add a new twist:

* Are you getting married, want the reception to last all night, but you can only afford a few hours? Have a midnight champagne toast in your home, invite only the closest family and friends, share cake, and do a simple spread for the table (BJs has tasty, wonderful appetizer choices).

* Get married outside. Community parks have affordable rates for couples who want to marry quick in a natural environment. It is also a good place to sneak in some nice pictures on your way to the reception.

* Plan a destination wedding. Have too many friends and family? This is the best way to limit the crowd and any wedding planning on your end. The good news is, when it's done, you are already on your honeymoon.

* Jump the broom. You don't have to have an African themed wedding to jump the broom. It's fun, creative, and gets people involved. Have you entire bridal party jump the broom on your way out.

* Have a barbecue. Getting married during the day? Get the grill out, go to your neighborhood park or backyard and bring lots, and lots of napkins. Don't forget the boombox. Pass the Budlight...

Maryann Reidemail: mreidwrites@aol.comphone: 212 946 5164
web: http://www.marryyourbabydaddy.com

Better Than Sex Recipes

Better Than Sex Recipes
By The Wet Noodle Poose

It's the month of love, but this month's recipes are so scrumptious you just might decide they're better than sex.

Better Than Sex Pie

Contributed by Pam Payne

1 1/2 cups flour

1 1/2 sticks margarine or butter at room temperature

1 cup pecans8 ounces cream cheese

1 cup powdered sugar

1 large container of Cool Whip

1 large (5.1-ounce) package

and 1 small (3.9-ounce) package instant, chocolate pudding mix4 1/2 cups cold milk

For the crust, mix the flour, margarine or butter, and pecans together to make a stiff dough. (I usually end up squeezing it together with my hands until I have a moistened ball.) Press into a 9x15-inch pan, and bake at 325 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Set it aside to cool.Next layer: combine softened cream cheese, powdered sugar and 1 cup of the Cool Whip, and spread over crust.Next layer: Fix the 2 packages of pudding using 4 1/2 cups of milk. Whisk for 2 minutes until thickened. Spread over cream cheese layer.Next layer: Top with remaining Cool Whip. You can garnish it with chocolate shavings if desired.Be careful, though. Once you start eating it, it's hard to stop.

Better Than Sex Brownies(Based on the recipe from The Fannie Farmer Baking Book)

Contributed by Maureen Hardegree

Ingredients:4 ounces (4 squares) unsweetened baking chocolate, chopped1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter chopped into pats2 eggs1 teaspoon vanilla extract1 1/2 cups granulated sugar1/4 teaspoon salt1/2 cup flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Grease and flour an 8-inch square pan. DO NOT USE A RECTANGULAR PAN! Place the butter and chocolate in a saucepan, and melt over low heat. Stir frequently. Once the butter and chocolate are melted and combined, take the saucepan off of the heat and set aside for a few minutes to cool. Once cool, add vanilla, sugar, salt and eggs. Stir until combined and glossy. Add flour to the chocolate mixture in saucepan, and stir until incorporated. The batter should be thick. Spread batter evenly in square pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the pan comes out BARELY CLEAN. If the toothpick is totally clean, you've over-baked the brownies. Cool, then cut into 16 squares and enjoy!

No Ordinary Trifle

Contributed by Lee McKenzie

This delectable dessert is a feast for the eyes.

Thanks to generous layers of strawberries, chocolate and whipped cream, it's a crowd pleaser.1 pound fresh strawberries (or whole frozen, unsweetened)1 or 2 teaspoons sugar (optional)1 pound cream cheese, softened1/2 cup sugar3 tablespoons orange liqueur (or orange juice)3 cups whipping cream, whippedSponge cake, thinly sliced (my local grocery store sells them, two round layers in a package, but you also can use lady fingers, any basic white cake or a pound cake)6 squares semi-sweet baking chocolate, grated

Slice the strawberries and set aside. If using frozen berries, they're easiest to slice when still frozen. If using fresh strawberries, sprinkle the slices with one or two teaspoons of sugar and toss before you set aside. This draws out the juices, which you need when you assemble the trifle. Reserve a few berries (whole or sliced) for garnish.Beat together cream cheese and the half cup of sugar. Stir in liqueur or orange juice. Fold in whipped cream.Drain the strawberries and reserve the juice. You'll need about one-quarter cup of juice. If necessary, add a little orange juice to make a quarter cup.You'll need a large trifle bowl or other clear glass bowl. Layer the ingredients in this order:

Place half the cake slices in the bottom of the bowl and drizzle with half the reserved strawberry juice.

Cover cake with one-third of the cream cheese mixture.

The next layer consists of half the strawberries. For the best visual effect, press some of the berries against the edge of the bowl.

Sprinkle one-third of the grated chocolate over the berries.
Repeat these layers.

Spread the remaining one-third of the cream cheese mixture over the top.
Garnish: arrange several whole or sliced strawberries on top of the final cream cheese layer, and sprinkle on the rest of the grated chocolate.
Refrigerate for several hours before serving.

*****

For metric conversions of the measurements above, consult any of the following sites:http://southernfood.about.com/library/info/blconv.htm http://www.thatsmyhome.com/recipes/conversion.htm http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/conversions.htm

Ten Tips for Valentine Vixenry

Ten Tips for Valentine VixenryBy Bridget Stuart

Did you know the word "vixen," far from meaning "sexy she-devil," actually means "a female fox" or "a malicious, bad-tempered woman"?

In the true spirit of bad-tempered women the world over let's review the following top ten Valentine tips:

1. Send yourself some flowers with an amorous note, and pretend to be flustered when they're delivered in front of him. Rip the note in half and avoid his eyes: "Oh, they're from Jennifer; she's so thoughtful, but how silly she is! Why should she send me flowers?"

2. Make a reservation at the most romantic restaurant in town that is also extremely hard to find; then argue about every right turn, every left turn, every freeway on-ramp or off-ramp, and keep mumbling comments like, "I knew you should have Mapquested it," all the way there.

3. Give him the Valentine gift of a luxurious spa getaway on his own. Give yourself the gift of some spa clothing and a new overnight bag for the trip.

4. Put on your skimpiest lingerie and sweetest perfume; light candles in the bedroom; kiss him hungrily when he slips between the sheets; then break it off and sigh, turn your back, and move to the other side of the bed.

5. Sing "Someday My Prince Will Come" every time you do the dishes, with a faraway look in your eyes.

6. Re-program his cell-phone ringtone to play a loud, sappy love song. Something by Barry Manilow would be good. For maximum effect, do this before he goes out of town on business or before a night out with "just the guys".

7. When he calls on the phone, let him say, "Hello, honey, this is me," and then say, "Well, hello-o Sergio," in a sexy voice. Unless his name is Sergio. When he freaks out, giggle and say, "Oh, I was just teasing you, honey. You're so cute when you're feeling threatened."

8. When he gives you a box of Valentine chocolate, wrinkle your nose and hand it back to him, with a ticked-off "Haven't you even bothered to notice I'm counting carbs? Don't you care that I work like a dog to keep looking beautiful--and I'm doing it just for you?" Continue this behavior until he apologizes.

9. Throw away his college sweatshirt and when he protests, give a light little laugh and tell him it was for his own good because it made him look even fatter than he really is.

10. Look straight at him with a wounded expression, then let tears start to slide down your cheeks; when he asks what's wrong, just cry harder and keep saying "Nothing, nothing."

And now, since I got your hopes up with that titillating title, here are two "bonus" tips--real ones:

Bonus Tip One: Think Pumpkin Are you hoping for some good lovin' on Valentine's Day? Here's a clue for you: controlled, double-blind studies have proven the top turn-on scent for men is... Pumpkin Pie. (I presume this is for American men, not Fiji Islanders.) Is that disappointing, or what? I tried and tried to figure this one out. My best guess at an explanation is men associate pumpkin pie with home, or more specifically, with going home for the holidays. This means men associate pumpkin pie with their mothers. Why is this sexy? Because men feel safe with their mothers. Accepted. Loved, admired and encouraged. That would make anyone feel open to overtures, right? So here's what you do. First you bake a pumpkin pie. Then you tell him, "Darling, I love, admire, encourage and accept you so much." Don't add any cheeky variations to that sentence, please. Then before he gets distracted by eating any pie, you whip off your apron and make said overtures. Badabing badaboom!

Bonus Tip Two: Men are DogsIf you're hoping Valentine's Day will bring the big, romantic moment when he pops the question, this advice is for you. Bear in mind that men are much more like dogs than they are like women. For example, they will be unswervingly loyal if you continue to show them who's Master--you. They need to be given pats and play and food, but they also need to be trained to jump through hoops. Be cautious, though: like dogs, men can smell fear. So strictly avoid the f-word ("fear") and the d-word ("desperation"). Instead, blithely assume his total love and devotion to you while making him question yours to him and implying he may only obtain it by fighting tooth and claw against the other dogs. The ring will soon follow. Ruff, ruff!Good luck in your kitchen or your kennel... and Happy Valentine's Day!

When she isn't driving her husband out of his mind, Bridget Stuart channels her regrettable tendency to think devious thoughts and do tricky things into writing sassy women's fiction.

Valentine's Day Stress Question

This was asked on another blog by another blogger and I thought I'd post my responses to you...

Blogger (a man) wrote:

IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING AND I WAS WONDERING THIS: IS THIS HOLIDAY SUPPOSE TO CATER TO JUST THE WOMEN OR SHOULD IT BE LABELED AS A COUPLE'S HOLIDAY. SHOULD MEN ALSO RECEIVE GIFTS AS SIGN OF AFFECTION OR SUCH FROM THEIR LADIES ON THIS DAY? WHAT MADE IT A DAY FOR JUST THE WOMAN? AND IF THAT IS POSSIBLE, LADIES WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING NICE FOR THE MEN AS OPPOSE TO THE MEN DOING NICE THINGS FOR YOU.

My comments are in lower case and bold in response to the post:

IS THIS HOLIDAY SUPPOSE TO CATER TO JUST THE WOMEN OR SHOULD IT BE LABELED AS A COUPLE'S HOLIDAY.

val day is a holiday as a reminder to couples. its kinda like christmas. just like you don't wait until the day to celebrate Jesus, you shouldn't wait til Val day to celebrate the person who completes you.

SHOULD MEN ALSO RECEIVE GIFTS AS SIGN OF AFFECTION OR SUCH FROM THEIR LADIES ON THIS DAY?

you (men) should also receive something

WHAT MADE IT A DAY FOR JUST THE WOMAN?

because men have grown lax on their appreciation and by the time val day comes around they are so stressed about what to give her they figure if they just throw something big at her she'll forgive them for not doing anything else for the rest of the year. if men had been on their jobs in the relationship, they'd see if they at least thought of her once a week (just 52 times out the year) they wouldnt' have so much to worry about the rest of the year. (I'll also admit that women do this too.) (Jezz people 52 times at that bad or that much to obligate yourself to do. quit being lazy and neglectful in your relationship!)

AND IF THAT IS POSSIBLE, LADIES WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING NICE FOR THE MEN AS OPPOSE TO THE MEN DOING NICE THINGS FOR YOU.

its a two way street. stop neglecting each other and you wont' get all stressed out about this time of year.

Writing from the Heart:the intimate art of love letters

February 2, 6:30 - 8:30 at Crazy Wisdom, 114 S. Main Street, Ann Arbor. $20e-mail: pabaillie@earthlink.net www.annregentin.com• The best love letters reflect the personality of the reader as well as the writer. Learn howto write about your feelings honestly in a way that will delight the one who reads them.• Relationships have different stages, and what's appropriate for a twenty-year marriage isvery different from what's appropriate when you've been dating for two weeks. Learn whatto say and when, as well as how best to say it.• The rules of good writing are surprisingly simple. Learn how to make the best of yourown personal style, even if you think you don't have one.Whether you've been married for decades or have just started dating, a love letter is auniquely personal gift. In this workshop, poet and erotica author Ann Regentin will showyou how to write the kind of love letters that are treasured forever.Thanks!Annwww.annregentin.comhttp://annregentin.blogspot.com

"It's What Happens After You Disconnect ..."

"It's What Happens After You Disconnect ..."
by Susie and Otto Collins

It was pretty interesting as we look back on this situation that
happened a few weeks ago.

A friend who we don't get to see very often got to see the two
of us in a "not so perfect moment." This was a moment when
lots of things were going on around us and we both had some
opinions and said some things to each other that needed
some healing later on.

The short version of the story is that we were disconnected
from each other in that moment that our friend was there
and it showed.

We all disconnect in various ways from one another from time
to time. It's normal. We feel slighted, not loved, unappreciated
or any number of things and these feelings create separations
from those we love.

Whether it's your intimate partner, a family member, a friend
or a co-worker--it happens to all of us.

We've discovered that it's what happens after you disconnect
and you get into your "relationship dance" or your patterns that
makes the difference whether there will be "spark" or life in
your relationship or not in the future.

This has certainly held true both in our own relationship and life
and in the lives and relationships of the coaching clients that
we work with in person and by telephone.

Since we're creating a series of teleseminars on how to keep
the spark in your relationship and how to get it back if it has
faded, it started us thinking that one of the important ways to
do that is to pay attention to what happens after you disconnect.

Recently, one of our coaching clients became disconnected
from a friend he worked with. Our client's friend became very
angry with him for something that our client had done. In turn,
our client became angry because he just couldn't figure out
what he had done that was so bad.

Pretty common scenario--Right?

No matter what type of relationship it is, it's what happens
after the disagreement or disconnection that will determine
whether the relationship grows or dies.

Here are some tips on what to do and how to come back
together after a disagreement that we used after our
disconnection and we offer them to you to try so that
your relationships keep growing in healthy ways:

1. What the disagreement or disconnection happens,
stop yourself from responding in old, harmful ways that
have done nothing but keep the two of you apart. Instead,
take a few deep breaths. If you do respond in old harmful
ways, take a moment to recognize that you have done so.

2. Let go of clinging to the idea of being right. Everyone
sees things differently and looks out at life through
different lenses. Chances are, the person you had the
disagreement with thinks he/she is just as "right" as
you are. So don't cling to your "rightness" and possibly
lose the relationship.

3. After you have yourself under control, listen to the
person with an open heart and open mind. Hard to
do sometimes but absolutely necessary if you are
going to keep your relationship healthy.

4. Take responsibility for your part in this disagreement--
even if it's just to tell the other person that you can
understand how they may feel the way they do. Tell
how you were feeling and any circumstances that
the other person might not know about that may
have precipitated the disagreement.

5. Be open to exploring how you both can repair
your relationship and make it better. If you come
to this discussion with a strong desire to come
back together and a sense of possibility, some
ideas will emerge that will help your reconnection.

These are just a few ideas around this topic and
if you want to learn much more, sign up for our
f-r-e-e teleseminar that we mentioned in the news
and notes section of this newsletter.




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Susie and Otto's Relationship Resources:


"How To Heal Your Broken Heart: The Secrets To Getting Over a
Relationship Break Up or Divorce"

This is our new book that is available now from our web site at
http://www.HowToHealYourBrokenHeart.com