Ways to Get Closer (in 10 Minutes or Less)

By Amelia R. Farquhar



So who is that hunky guy brushing his teeth in your bathroom? Snap out of it, lucky woman! He's your husband, and if you're as busy as we've been lately, chances are that work, kids and both your jam-packed schedules are putting the squeeze on the oh-so-sweet private time you two share. But shelling out big bucks for a kid-free week away in an exotic locale isn't the only way to make memorable moments with your man. The real secret of superbusy couples who stay amazingly close: They dole out little get-connected gestures over and over and over again -- often when such tokens are least expected. And so can you; just add a few of these quickie bonding rituals to your daily routine.

Clown Around

Those who laugh together last together! So why not take a short break from your regular weeknight routine and tickle each other's funny bones? Log on to a joke Website, such as www.randomjoke.com, or play a kiddie game, like Twister.
Dream On

Before you spring out of bed, spend a few minutes recalling and sharing your dreams from the night before. "Since remembering your dreams can sometimes be a challenge, get in the habit of asking each other one or two questions within minutes of the time you first wake up," recommends Charles Lambert McPhee, author of Ask the Dream Doctor. "Try 'What was your most memorable feeling?' 'Where did the dream take place?' or 'What situation in life does the dream remind you of?'" Revealing the ideas and images that are running through your subconscious can put you on the fast track to understanding what's behind the excitement, fear and other emotions you may be experiencing in your day-to-day life. And it may give you both a case of the giggles. Have a sense of humor and remember: The more bizarre stuff you share with one another, the better.

Get Unplugged

Next time the two of you are getting ready to relax, resist the urge to crash on the couch in front of the TV; you'll be happier if you don't. Couples who watch an above-normal amount of television (the average American household has the box on 7.7 hours a day) are 26 percent less satisfied with their relationships than couples who watch less than the average amount, according to a study published in the journal Sex Role. So skip the sitcoms and pop in a soulful CD instead. Try Robert Miles's Dreamland, Barry White's Staying Power or Inspiration by Maze, featuring Frankie Beverly -- or just snuggle together in serene silence.



Do the Write Thing

Get two pens and two sheets of paper and sit down at a table together; then each of you jot down a pleasure list. Record between five and 10 things your man does that make you feel incredible -- things he says, looks he gives you, ways he touches your skin and gestures he makes -- and ask him to do the same for you. Then trade lists and read them out loud to make sure they're fully understood, say Leslie and Jimmy Caplan, married authors of Ready for Romance. The reward? Remarkable insight into the little things you can do more of to make each other feel even happier.

Ready, Set, Smooch!

Before you part ways in the morning, meet in the kitchen for a timed kiss. Set an egg timer for four minutes and agree to lock lips until the bell rings. Think four minutes is too long? You may change your mind -- and reset the timer for 10! -- after this little exercise turns your standard morning peck into some heavenly petting.

Have a Feather Fight

Grab two of your fluffiest feather pillows and start a battle royal. Close the door to your room and have him stand on one side of the bed while you stand on the other. After you yell "Go!" try to whack him good while he does the same to you, until one of you surrenders by saying "I love you!" (P.S. Tickling is totally allowed.)

Rewind for Romance

Turn an everyday drive into a trip down memory lane by secretly slipping a recording of your wedding song into the car stereo. When he turns on the radio, there will be a pleasant surprise you two can swoon to.

Compliment Him Like Crazy

Next time your guy's perusing Esquire or watching a preview of the latest Ben Affleck flick, lean over and whisper in his ear that not only is he sexier than those high-profile hunks, but he also makes a much better husband! Couples who talked about positive aspects of their relationships reduced stress by 15 percent, while those who talked about the negatives increased their stress 48 percent, in a study conducted by the Journal of Family Psychology.

Sip to a Sunset

Take the edge off a harried day by relaxing together with a refreshing cocktail, such as a pineapple-orange daiquiri. Pour half a cup of orange juice, half a cup of pineapple juice and two ounces of light rum into a shaker filled with ice, strain into two chilled glasses and garnish with wedges of orange. Enjoy your drinks outside in the fresh air while you watch the sun go down.

Cream, Please

Every morning, spend a few minutes together rubbing a facial cream that contains SPF into each other's cheeks. Now you've turned a healthy habit into a sensual, soothing treat.

Have a Quickie Picnic

Surprise him with an impromptu at-work lunch picnic. Stop by his office (even if it's out of the way) with your favorite deli sandwiches and a couple of milk shakes. He'll love it that you cared enough to swing by for a fast, fun meal and a few for-no-reason smooches.


Pop a Quiz on Him

Send one to your sweetie via email once a week. Why? "Most couples, even those who are already very close, are more likely to express a deeper side of themselves in a written note rather than orally," says Michael Webb, founder of www.theromantic.com. Webb recommends shooting off one of these getting-to-know-you-even-better cues: "What first attracted you to me?" "Do you ever crave a quickie? When?" or "What are the three most sensitive places on your body?" It won't be long before his curiosity gets the better of him and he starts nudging you for your answers!

Vroom! Start Your Date Engines

Tonight may not be date night, but try this quick trick, suggested by romance experts Leslie and Jimmy Caplan, to get excited about future weekend outings. First, each of you writes down two creative things to do; then the four ideas are sealed in separate envelopes. Now one of you chooses an envelope -- and your destiny for the weekend to come.

Give Him a Sneak Peek

Hide his favorite pair of your panties in a private nook he uses every day (his coat pocket, glove compartment, briefcase or desk drawer). Attach a sexy note that simply says, "Call me" to get his heart racing even more.

Say It with Shampoo

Share a shower on a weekday morning when you've both got a crazy-busy day ahead and shampoo each other's hair with slow, scalp-massaging strokes. What's better than waking up to pampering playtime?

Sniff Out a Passionate Scent

Step up to an essential-oil counter at a pharmacy or health-food store, where you can create a scent that turns you both on. "Try sandalwood to get reconnected to your personal power and sense of attractiveness," says Mara Goodman-Davies, author of A Year of Romance. Looking for something a little, er, less subtle? "Rose oil works as a shameless aphrodisiac and will certainly get you two in the mood," she says. Bonus: Simply leaning in to smell your sweetie's neck will be an erotic experience and a reminder of the times you've spent mixing and matching your own get-frisky fragrances.

Pause for Pillow Talk

Before you lull yourselves to la-la land, share a pillow. Spending a few minutes face-to-face will inspire you to whisper in each other's ears, stare into each other's eyes and hug supertight. While you're at it, a round of footsie will create a true head-to-toe connection.

Plan the Perfect Getaway

Browse in your local bookstore's travel aisle, and each of you choose the top 10 places you'd like to visit. Later, sit down and go over your fantasy destinations together. Discover you've got one in common? You just took the first step toward making a shared dream come true.

Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth

Stop by your local bakery on the way home and pick up two of your favorite desserts, then set aside time after dinner to brew some decaf and feed them to each other.

Find a Favorite Snapshot

Whip through your wedding album together and point out your favorite shots. (Don't forget to tell him he looks even more fabulous today!) A great get-closer twist: Try to remember what you were each thinking before you saw the other for the first time that day, and then share, share, share.