The purpose of the Art of Touch instruction guide is to supplement the ?Touch Me with Love? instructional massage video and teach practical tools to enhance bonding, communication and creativity among couples. Couples who enjoy intimacy with one another have happier families where the children of the couples are treated with mutual respect and receive the special time and attention they need for optimal health and development. The family is the world?s greatest treasure! It is imperative that we are committed to build and rebuild each relationship within our family to encourage health and well-being. The Touch Me with Love video is only one component of the Touch Is Great movement to eradicate touch deprivation in America . There are also audio presentations, live workshops and ambassador training sessions available across America . Visit www.touchisgreat.com for details.
Like the Song of Solomon, ?Touch Me with Love? is about the creative expression of love and intimacy between a man and a woman. Loving one another is what our Creator has commanded us to do. Through loving touch, we personify the Divine. When we touch our loving mates, we are extending the hand of God to heal, soothe and calm. This extension of ourselves must be unselfish and with healing intent. The grounding exercise at the beginning of the video is just an example of what you could do before beginning your masterpiece to focus on your partner and clear your mind.
Use this guide as you practice loving touch at home. Use your own creativity to personalize your masterpiece. If you are not especially good with words, several poetic pieces are available in the video, which are excellent expressions of passion and love. Try speaking loving words while your partner is resting peacefully.
It is my prayer that you will enjoy exploring the healing power of touch with your partner. That you will commit to being totally present during the experience and give as you would like to receive.

Click here to download your Free Art of Touch Instruction Guide
Buy Now @ www.touchisgreat.com

Media appearances include:

? The Detroit News, Michigan Chronicle, Detroit WXYZ and Chicago WGN morning news, Access Health and Fitness Show, Mind Body & Soul, Cream of the Crop and Massage Magazine

Visit
www.massageyourspouse.com
coming 12/9/07

Learn How
Loving Touch can:

Decrease tension between you and your mate
Increase romance
Improve intimacy
Improve health & well-being
Improve communication
30-minute instructional massage video on sale now!(retail value $19.99)

Retail Outlets

The Wellness Resource Center 18100 Meyers Rd
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Dr. Berman's Position of The Week

Comforting

This position allows for maximum eye contact. Lie on your back, with your partner sitting facing you and your pelvises touching. His legs are extended, flanking each side of your torso, and yours are draped over his thighs, relaxed. He holds your pelvis to control movement and penetration, and he can massage your abdomen, breasts, or clitoris. He can also grab onto your shoulders to draw you closer together.

Visit DrLauraBerman.com and get back issues of the Passion Files newsletter, feature articles by Dr. Berman, news about her latest book, and links to all her Intimate Accessories.

The Sound of Pleasure - Aurally

The Sound of Pleasure
Aural Sex

Definition from Dictionary.com
au?ral2 /'?r ?l/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[awr-uh l] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation: –adjective : of or pertaining to the ear or to the sense of hearing.

Yes, it's been a long time since we've spoken, but I've been here, I swear I swear I swear.

First things first: I'd like to let everyone know, I'm still single and scarily becoming set in my ways which will probably ruin me for the next man. LOL.

"Everything you've ever wanted to know but were too afraid to ask!" is the second thing. This is an event I'll be attending on December 20th, from 5:00pm-7: 45pm in Detroit. Visit http://www.eventbrite.com/event/41146069 to save your seat! We speak on various of subjects about sex, relationship, sex, intimacy, sex, and well, just sex and our concerns over different aspects of it. It was fun the first time (in November) and if you're in the Detroit Area, we do invite you to come out again!!! (I insist!) I'll be having copies of my book, Mistaken Identity on hand to sell.

This past week has been full and pleasurable. I mean really mentally pleasurable because I've been busily writing my stories and I always get pleasure out of that.

I'm working on my book, Dark Façade. It's about contemporary slavery of black women. I won't even go into detail, but I brought this up because this book's love scene is different. The man talks to her during sex. Envisioning these love scenes added a little more erotica to the storyline than I thought and after re-reading this unfinished book for like the third time, I really was definitely turned on my own creativity. (Yeah, I'm patting myself on the back just a little bit.)

Another thing that happened this last week to fuel this post is that I won this fabulous contest by author, Sheila Goss to speak with Brian McNight and he said my name – HE SAID MY NAME. I really don't think you understand the serious nature of this. Brian McNight had me at "One Last Cry." I was in love with that man from the first note of that song and I've been a fan since. I mean damn! A man willing to tell you he was crying was a turn on. Singing it was an even bigger turn on and I've loved his voice like men liking J-Lo's butt. He made my eardrums tingle. He's inspired a lot of love scenes that people have come up to me and just said "damn! Where did you get that from?" Brian McNight. I play him repeatedly (although I do switch to the old Babyface every once in a while to get to the deeper emotions.)

In any case, Brian has been my love sweet love in my dreams for years and years and I said if I ever could wish for anything – ANYTHING – in this world, it would be to just have Brian McNight to say my name. He did! He said, "Hello Sylvia." I was dumbfounded! I was speechless (but only for a second or two cause y'all know I love to talk). My panties were wet and I was a fool in love all over again. All I could think about was when I first fell in love with him and my head just kept singing his song, "One Last Cry." As I spoke to him, whenever he spoke, my brain was singing that song. When he answered a question or said something all I could think about was that song, because that's all I remember from when we first met.

O/T tangent: First meetings are a trip and it's so impactful upon the rest of the relationship isn't. (advice for men) : For women You can remember what they looked like, what they said, what they smelled like, what they got you with. It's the most amazing thing that could ever happen and you wish you could meet someone just like that person everyday over and over again. We are always searching for the first time feeling always, aren't we? (We'll get back to this another day).

In any case, Dark Façade and Brian McNight, along with the beau has fueled my newest blog, Aural Sex.

I did a Yahoo search on the subject. I found a movie, a book by Ann Regentin (which I know and was tickled pink to say, hey I know her!), and then I found someone had asked the question, Can Aural Sex affect Your Hearing? On Yahoo's question board about a year ago.

I was tickled to death at the answers, which were:
q Is there such a thing? I don't think there is!!!
q WTF! You put it in your mouth, not your ears!
q I guess it could be possible. You don't know what auras can do.
q I prefer it in the nose???
q Yikes this SOUNDS painful
q It affected my hearing and hers, we didn't notice the CD skipping

And my personal favorite that almost made me pee on myself:

q You must be really tiny for it to fit in there... but yea... sticking anything in your ear can damage your hearing (hence the reason for the q-tip warnings)...


So you ask, "What is Aural Sex?"

Vocally making love would be my definition. Now this can take place in several different places and both parties don't have to be present (face to face) in order to achieve the "desired affect." The most widely used form of aural sex would be over the phone. Men just like you are turned on at the knowledge of knowing your woman wants you when you're not around, women are just as turned on at hear that you had such a good time wherever you were last night. One man I use to date would call me after such occurrence and I'd get tickled embarrassed hearing him talk about what he did to me last night and what he wanted to try next time. Needless to say, I was a willing participant to WHATEVER he had in mind the next time because damn if it didn't sound good.

The next form of aural sex would be face to face, which can consist of two things: whispered intentions or the sound and/or speech emitted while making physical love. Let's focus on the whispered intentions first.

A whispered intention would be something a person says to you sexually when you are not involved in a physical sexual sex. Sometimes it doesn't have to be whispered, but it's a verbal form of what you want to do, what you have done and what you'd like to try to do. In one scene of my stories, a woman and man are speaking about another subject. All while they are speaking she's trying to find the guts to tell him she's attracted to him and out of the blue, she says, "I want to make love to you all night long in every position known and unknown to mankind." He's a bit taken aback by her abruptness, but then a slow wicked smile graced his lips and he said, "I'll do my best to make you happy."

Needless to say I went on to describe a very long love scene that took three exhaustive horny days to write, but damn was it fun. Just from that verbal comment. Now you say, "Well, Sylvia that's just your vivid imagination." Actually, that had happened to me but it was the other way around. I was at a booksigning just talking to a beau (at that time) about everything – my book, how the booksigning was going, and just my own random thoughts of writing. Suddenly he said the above statement. I responded just like that and it took about three days to make him happy, LOL. That was fun! Good times… good times….

Whispered intentions are really fun when you do what you intend to do. If you tell your woman you're going to give her a full body massage (and if you don't know how to do that, please see the last blog, It started with a touch), do it! The only rule of whispered intentions is that if you say it, you have to do it. Otherwise the next time you say something, it will only annoy the crap out of the person because you don't know how to do what you say. My mother always say, never write a check with your mouth that your butt can't cash! Because it will surely get bounced! And I'm a woman who will say, that's it? Make your checks worth the paper it's written on. Always remember action speaks louder than words and if you speak it, do it. Also, to make more powerful effects on whispered intentions, give details. That's what really drives a woman crazy. Details. Illicit, erotic details that will have her squirming. I don't mind changing my panties in the middle of the day cause I was aurally loved by a whispered intention that couldn't wait until I got home. (He's helped me changed them sometimes in a back closet, guest room, or bathroom.) Women, you should do the same thing. If you intend to F*&^! The crap out of me, then I wanna know just how you plan to get the crap out, LOL and should I be calling the Guinness Book of Records cause we're making history.

One warning about this whole thing. When you receive a whispered intention, never and I mean never tell a person not to say stuff like that. Now say that the whispered intention was a crude remark. There's a good way to handle it. Just say it even more descriptive than what they said it.

For instance:
He says: I want you to suck my d*#k!
I say: You want me to put your flesh between my lips? Use my tongue to wrap to around the tip and..? (speak it real slowly and emphasize the s's, d's, p's).

He usually smiles, blushes and then gives me great detail about how good it feels when I do that to him and the creatively comes back to describe what wants to do to my body.

I myself become very turned on my big words. My best friend from high school, who's a guy, uses big words. I think I keep him around because I've never heard a black man speak words over four syllables so much and just speaking to him over the phone is a joy.

Yes, I do sound sick, but big words turn me on and if I can't admit that to myself (and you) then who else could I tell admit that to?

Now to the best, which I've saved for last. The sound or speech voiced, grunted, or growled during sex. The sounds of sex are usually what we envision in an x-rated movie. "Oh Oh Oh Yes Yes Yes Umm Umm Umm." And so on. The sounds of my son having an asthma attack sound more passionate than that. (yeah, that was cruel.) Why (men and woman) are we so afraid to make noises during sex. I'm not talking about that whose your daddy? Crap. I think that's a bunch of malarkey. During sex, you shouldn't be asking me any questions that will make me a liar later, because I might be inclined to be honest and make you lose your hard-on. LOL. I'm a screamer. The better it feels the louder I am or the more vocal I make myself.

Just think about it. If you've just taken a bite out the most scrumptious cake in the whole wide world, wouldn't you let everyone around know that's the best cake you've ever had.

Now imagine that even if he's done it a million times and every time he hits the right spot. Why wait until it's over to tell him he did it? I say, speak now or forever hold your peace. I like to let people know when they did well at the time their doing it. I might forget later, LOL.

Never cover my mouth. If you don't like what I'm saying, kiss me more.

Now my rant:

Speaking during sex is not unusual. Having conversations of an enjoyable nature, laughing together and telling each other further increases the intensity and pleasure. If you don't know it, women are more stimulated mentally than physically. We are able to achieve pleasure and orgasms with our mind and as you stimulate us physically with your movements, you must remember to really "get her" or connect with her on a mental level. Don't know what to say: Speak your pleasure, describe what you're feeling, when she does something you like let her know, open conversation to her and tell her what you enjoy about her body… showstopper: describe to her what you are about to do and then do it.

Why (men) are you quiet? On purpose? You can't tell me it doesn't feel good? Why you gotta groan, gurgle and make that face?

And I'm not talking about when it's in the beginning. I know why you make those faces because yes it is good and yes you feel good, but I'm talking bout in the end when I whisper in your ear, "Give it to me, Big Daddy." That's your cue to release, let it out, let go, shout to the heavens and wake up hell!

I'll join you!

Currently reading : How I Retired at 26! A Step-by-Step Guide to Accessing Your Freedom and Wealth at Any Age By Asha Tyson

bedroom dilemmas

This month, Dr. Debra answers a letter from an older gentleman with an ageless question: "What do you do when you find out your sexual expectations are different and you're already married?" The answer? Communication is the solution to bedroom dilemmas, so talk. Touch. Talk some more.

Ways to Get Closer (in 10 Minutes or Less)

By Amelia R. Farquhar



So who is that hunky guy brushing his teeth in your bathroom? Snap out of it, lucky woman! He's your husband, and if you're as busy as we've been lately, chances are that work, kids and both your jam-packed schedules are putting the squeeze on the oh-so-sweet private time you two share. But shelling out big bucks for a kid-free week away in an exotic locale isn't the only way to make memorable moments with your man. The real secret of superbusy couples who stay amazingly close: They dole out little get-connected gestures over and over and over again -- often when such tokens are least expected. And so can you; just add a few of these quickie bonding rituals to your daily routine.

Clown Around

Those who laugh together last together! So why not take a short break from your regular weeknight routine and tickle each other's funny bones? Log on to a joke Website, such as www.randomjoke.com, or play a kiddie game, like Twister.
Dream On

Before you spring out of bed, spend a few minutes recalling and sharing your dreams from the night before. "Since remembering your dreams can sometimes be a challenge, get in the habit of asking each other one or two questions within minutes of the time you first wake up," recommends Charles Lambert McPhee, author of Ask the Dream Doctor. "Try 'What was your most memorable feeling?' 'Where did the dream take place?' or 'What situation in life does the dream remind you of?'" Revealing the ideas and images that are running through your subconscious can put you on the fast track to understanding what's behind the excitement, fear and other emotions you may be experiencing in your day-to-day life. And it may give you both a case of the giggles. Have a sense of humor and remember: The more bizarre stuff you share with one another, the better.

Get Unplugged

Next time the two of you are getting ready to relax, resist the urge to crash on the couch in front of the TV; you'll be happier if you don't. Couples who watch an above-normal amount of television (the average American household has the box on 7.7 hours a day) are 26 percent less satisfied with their relationships than couples who watch less than the average amount, according to a study published in the journal Sex Role. So skip the sitcoms and pop in a soulful CD instead. Try Robert Miles's Dreamland, Barry White's Staying Power or Inspiration by Maze, featuring Frankie Beverly -- or just snuggle together in serene silence.



Do the Write Thing

Get two pens and two sheets of paper and sit down at a table together; then each of you jot down a pleasure list. Record between five and 10 things your man does that make you feel incredible -- things he says, looks he gives you, ways he touches your skin and gestures he makes -- and ask him to do the same for you. Then trade lists and read them out loud to make sure they're fully understood, say Leslie and Jimmy Caplan, married authors of Ready for Romance. The reward? Remarkable insight into the little things you can do more of to make each other feel even happier.

Ready, Set, Smooch!

Before you part ways in the morning, meet in the kitchen for a timed kiss. Set an egg timer for four minutes and agree to lock lips until the bell rings. Think four minutes is too long? You may change your mind -- and reset the timer for 10! -- after this little exercise turns your standard morning peck into some heavenly petting.

Have a Feather Fight

Grab two of your fluffiest feather pillows and start a battle royal. Close the door to your room and have him stand on one side of the bed while you stand on the other. After you yell "Go!" try to whack him good while he does the same to you, until one of you surrenders by saying "I love you!" (P.S. Tickling is totally allowed.)

Rewind for Romance

Turn an everyday drive into a trip down memory lane by secretly slipping a recording of your wedding song into the car stereo. When he turns on the radio, there will be a pleasant surprise you two can swoon to.

Compliment Him Like Crazy

Next time your guy's perusing Esquire or watching a preview of the latest Ben Affleck flick, lean over and whisper in his ear that not only is he sexier than those high-profile hunks, but he also makes a much better husband! Couples who talked about positive aspects of their relationships reduced stress by 15 percent, while those who talked about the negatives increased their stress 48 percent, in a study conducted by the Journal of Family Psychology.

Sip to a Sunset

Take the edge off a harried day by relaxing together with a refreshing cocktail, such as a pineapple-orange daiquiri. Pour half a cup of orange juice, half a cup of pineapple juice and two ounces of light rum into a shaker filled with ice, strain into two chilled glasses and garnish with wedges of orange. Enjoy your drinks outside in the fresh air while you watch the sun go down.

Cream, Please

Every morning, spend a few minutes together rubbing a facial cream that contains SPF into each other's cheeks. Now you've turned a healthy habit into a sensual, soothing treat.

Have a Quickie Picnic

Surprise him with an impromptu at-work lunch picnic. Stop by his office (even if it's out of the way) with your favorite deli sandwiches and a couple of milk shakes. He'll love it that you cared enough to swing by for a fast, fun meal and a few for-no-reason smooches.


Pop a Quiz on Him

Send one to your sweetie via email once a week. Why? "Most couples, even those who are already very close, are more likely to express a deeper side of themselves in a written note rather than orally," says Michael Webb, founder of www.theromantic.com. Webb recommends shooting off one of these getting-to-know-you-even-better cues: "What first attracted you to me?" "Do you ever crave a quickie? When?" or "What are the three most sensitive places on your body?" It won't be long before his curiosity gets the better of him and he starts nudging you for your answers!

Vroom! Start Your Date Engines

Tonight may not be date night, but try this quick trick, suggested by romance experts Leslie and Jimmy Caplan, to get excited about future weekend outings. First, each of you writes down two creative things to do; then the four ideas are sealed in separate envelopes. Now one of you chooses an envelope -- and your destiny for the weekend to come.

Give Him a Sneak Peek

Hide his favorite pair of your panties in a private nook he uses every day (his coat pocket, glove compartment, briefcase or desk drawer). Attach a sexy note that simply says, "Call me" to get his heart racing even more.

Say It with Shampoo

Share a shower on a weekday morning when you've both got a crazy-busy day ahead and shampoo each other's hair with slow, scalp-massaging strokes. What's better than waking up to pampering playtime?

Sniff Out a Passionate Scent

Step up to an essential-oil counter at a pharmacy or health-food store, where you can create a scent that turns you both on. "Try sandalwood to get reconnected to your personal power and sense of attractiveness," says Mara Goodman-Davies, author of A Year of Romance. Looking for something a little, er, less subtle? "Rose oil works as a shameless aphrodisiac and will certainly get you two in the mood," she says. Bonus: Simply leaning in to smell your sweetie's neck will be an erotic experience and a reminder of the times you've spent mixing and matching your own get-frisky fragrances.

Pause for Pillow Talk

Before you lull yourselves to la-la land, share a pillow. Spending a few minutes face-to-face will inspire you to whisper in each other's ears, stare into each other's eyes and hug supertight. While you're at it, a round of footsie will create a true head-to-toe connection.

Plan the Perfect Getaway

Browse in your local bookstore's travel aisle, and each of you choose the top 10 places you'd like to visit. Later, sit down and go over your fantasy destinations together. Discover you've got one in common? You just took the first step toward making a shared dream come true.

Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth

Stop by your local bakery on the way home and pick up two of your favorite desserts, then set aside time after dinner to brew some decaf and feed them to each other.

Find a Favorite Snapshot

Whip through your wedding album together and point out your favorite shots. (Don't forget to tell him he looks even more fabulous today!) A great get-closer twist: Try to remember what you were each thinking before you saw the other for the first time that day, and then share, share, share.

Make Your Marriage Affair-Proof

author anonymous

What is it that drives a marital partner to engage in an outside liaison? How can you guarantee your marriage vows will be held sacred? Life is full of unpredictable twists and turns. Help keep your marital path on the straight and narrow by taking these preventive steps to guard your fidelity.

Talk openly about everything and anything. Don't belittle the importance of small talk. You gain nothing by keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself. The more you talk the more you open a window to the real you. Friendship is the trait that will allow your relationship to remain strong.

Cultivate your friendship. Go places with each other. Talk about your interests or current events in your lives. Do things together. Do not allow yourself to take your partner's friendship or feelings for granted.

Be supportive. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. A person's lifetime is an expansive period of time. Things change, people's interests change. Your partner will at some point want to try something new; such as a career, spiritual or life habit change. These are critical moments in your relationship. Even if you don't agree with your partner's choices, approach your partner with sensitivity and understanding. Open minds and open hearts will always find solutions.

Keep your passion alive and well. No one wants to feel undesired. Take a moment now and then to ask yourself, "How can I make my partner feel more desired?" Leave little notes around the house. Let your children see you kiss and cuddle. Indulge in an impromptu escapade. Passion in a relationship lets us know that we are more than just a convenience to have around. A faithful partner is one that knows they are cherished and desired by their partner.

Don't be predictable. The spark of interest can fade when you feel you know your partner to the point of predictability. Always allow for a little mystery. Even better, constantly create a mystery. Create love hunts with clues they need to figure out. Leave surprise gifts or e-mails for your partner. Occasionally do something that is a bit out of the norm. Go see a movie you wouldn't usually watch with your partner, visit a new restaurant or take a spontaneous day trip.

HOMEWORK: For ultimate success, read this article with your partner. Discuss each point and share with each other what you agree and disagree upon. After your discussion, make a list of guidelines you promise you will follow to create an affair-proof marriage (such as the ones above). Then, decide on a method of handling problems if either of you feel things have gone off-course. For example: Step 1: We will both talk openly about the problem, allowing each person ample time to explain their concerns. Step 2: We will both offer a solution, and select a course of action. Step 3: If no solution can be presented we will seek the help of an unbiased third-party. Step 4: If a solution can still not be presented we will seek qualified outside help. (Note: You should predetermine whom or what this will be before an incident ever occurs.)

5 Flirting Tips for Dating Success

Flirting is not rocket science. It is simply a common sense method of letting people know you're available without being tacky or obnoxious. AND if done properly, it is your best chance at snagging your future partner! So, get ready to demystify the art of flirting with these five fabulous flirting tips. Practice your new moves on the object of your desire this weekend…

#1: Be Sincere If you're going to flirt, you need to be real about it. Anyone can spot a fake a mile away. If you're feeling insecure about your flirting skills, don't start with your secret crush since the 10th grade. Begin in a situation you are most comfortable with. If you're going to pay compliments to someone, be sincere about them. Really mean what you are saying and your results will be well worth the effort.

#2: Smile A smile is the simplest form of flattery. It shows that you are genuinely interested in the other person, and for that one single moment they are the only thing on your mind. Never underestimate the power of a smile.

#3: Touch Touch is an obvious sign of interest. Used correctly it can be a subtle way of getting a person's undivided attention. Rest a hand on their arm or on their knee when you are talking. Engage in activities that promote touch, such as dancing. Just be careful not to appear too flirtatious. The last thing you want to do is send the wrong signals.

#4: Hold Eye ContactHow do you make the object of your affection weak in the knees? Hold that meaningful gaze for just a few seconds longer than normal. Show them you're not one to turn away from something great!

#5: Be Interested In Them Want to know if they are worthy of your undivided attention? Find out more by asking them open-ended questions about themselves. Show off your flirting skills by showing them you are actually listening to what they are saying.

author anonymous

Note: And for those who already have the guy/girl, these are tips that you can use to keep it going. Remember, the same things you did to get them are the same things you'll have to do to to keep them.